I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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