I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
