Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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