You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
