You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
