It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
