Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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