The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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