If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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