I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
