Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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