Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
