id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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