Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm too high and old for this...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize