my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize