there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
