big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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