allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
this hospital has no fireball
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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