Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Panties = found
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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