He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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