a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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