so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize