You're my little dorito
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
