one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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