My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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