try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
