I think scott just propositioned me for sex
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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