looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
