I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
