I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize