Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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