dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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