On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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