Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
did i walk over a car last night?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
