brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
