I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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