So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
