i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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