id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
