smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
