your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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