We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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