thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
