Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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