I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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