Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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