is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
