Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
