drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
