She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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