help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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