loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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