im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
