I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
