I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
