Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
