I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
