i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize