guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize